a doggy story
from Cary Tennis at Salon. If I had any ambivalent feelings about the guy's approach to giving advice, they would be gone now, because this is a wonderful letter. Here is part of his response to a woman who is mightily unhappy about her husband's aging dog.
[...] Age in our loved ones often takes us by surprise. Someone can no longer see very well, can't hear what we're saying, can't walk so well, can't remember anything. At first we don't get what it means. It's just an annoyance. Then slowly it comes to us: She's going away. This is the sound of her departure.
The dog is losing control, one of the signs of impending death, one of the messy, stinky, unpleasant things that happen as life nears its end.
Let's tell the story again from the dog's point of view -- a little doggy flashback told with a handheld camera. Before you came along, she had her master -- your husband -- all to herself. He took her on long walks. They had many fine times together, just the two of them. Then you came along. But though you were a rival and superseded her in the pack, she welcomed your arrival, because she is such a social animal.
Then you became pregnant. You became the center. You acquired a heightened sense of smell. Your concern with cleanliness increased. You battled doggy odors. You erased the olfactory narratives that the dog was used to reading. She began to feel physically lost in the house. She needed, more than ever, a room of her own. She needed a purpose. She tried to claim one, but was punished and shunned. When the first child was born, the dog sensed her rightful role would be to protect and nurture the infant. But she was shunned.[....]
Is euthanasia right? Ask yourself: Is it for you, or for the dog? While it might not be ethical to put the dog to sleep merely for your own convenience, it might be ethical to release the dog from an increasingly difficult and painful life.
If you choose euthanasia, you might want to first try to bring some happiness to the dog's life. Maybe she could have a week or two where nobody scolds her for things she can't control. That would make a nice ending to the story. At the end, you could say, she was happy.
If you're considering a dog, you might want to think about adopting an older one. Here are the people who will tell you all about the benefits.
I love my dogs for their personalities and for the role they play in our family. I love the way they greet me when I come home, and the joy they take in everything. One day they will be old. I dread that day, but I hope to meet their needs with all the warmth and caring that they bring to me now, day by day.