how... sad. or funny.
I'm not sure why this makes me giggle.
Thomson-Gale publishes a reference work called Contemporary Authors. You'd find it in any university library and some public libraries, and you might use it if you were writing a term paper about, say, Hemingway. You'd also find it online, but it costs money.
I knew I had an entry in there because they asked me for basic information. I've never gone to look it up, but now it's been brought to my attention and as I said to start with, I'm finding it hard not to laugh.
Amazon is offering for your reading pleasure an html download of the Thomson-Gale biography on me. Three pages, 747 words (the arithmetic doesn't seem right, but you know me and numbers) for $2.30. For this you get:
Place and date of birth and death (if deceased)
here's a hint: I'm not.
Family members
you know about the husband, the daughter, and the puppy boys
Education
again: you know more about that than you probably want to
Professional associations and honors
who cares, really
Employment
I guess I have failed to disclose that my first job was selling clothes in the teen section at Goldblatt's on Lincoln Avenue, and that I worked as a nursing assistant while I was an undergrad.
Writings, including books and periodicals
painfully obvious
A description of the author's work
ha!
References to further readings about the author
like, this no-cost website?
For no cost at all there's a lot more information on this weblog and my various websites (if you go digging around) than this uninspired list of factoids would give you for your twobucksthirtycents. What does Thomson-Gale know about my love of KitKats? How about the story of how the husband got bit on the head by a bat or my contemplation on why nobody wonders why the three brothers in the Godfather look nothing alike, and why Mama Corleone is always smiling? And of course they have no access to the annual this-is-my-daughter's-birthday post, and I know how you all wait for that one. And I'll guarantee you this: they make no mention of the long series of posts on how to write sex scenes.
What I haven't given you in any explicit way is my birthdate. So I'll fix that. On January 14 I turn fifty.
Funny how writing that sentence gives me goose flesh. And not the good kind.
Tomorrow I'll post Rule 4, but in the meantime a question: are these things useful to you at all, or just boring? I'm thinking of adding a "rate this post" feature (which would be anonymous). As I can't hear you nodding off to sleep, this might give me a sense of when I've lost you.