the thing about names
A really good writer should be able to cope with a character's bad name. Because there are such things. I quote Harry:
Harry: Obviously you haven't had great sex yet.I repeat: in spite of the fact that Harry really can't be denied his point, a good writer should be able to make a character called Sheldon, Harold, Kaspar, Lennie or any other name into whatever that character needs to be. Sheldon the Wonder Slong, Lennie the Best Dressed Manhattanite, George the Navy SEAL. All these things are possible, or should be.
Sally: Yes I have.
Harry: No you haven't.
Sally (raised voice): It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex.
(The whole restaurant looks at Sally.)
Harry: With whom?
Sally: What?
Harry: With whom did you have this great sex?
Sally: I'm not going to tell you that!
Harry: Fine, don't tell me.
Sally: Shel Gordon.
Harry: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you didn't have great sex with ... Sheldon.
Sally: I did too.
Harry: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal Sheldon's your man, but humping and pumping is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. Do it to me 'Sheldon', you're an animal 'Sheldon', ride. me. big. 'Sheldon'. Doesn't work.
And the same is true, of course, of female characters. Millie the vascular Surgeon, Trudy the Prince's one true love, Shania the professor of comparative literature.
It's tough to overcome the associations attached to names, but it can, it must be done. Because I'm running out of names I like. Here's a question. What would you think of Author X who writes say, a novel ever one or two years, not a series, you understand, but each novel independent of the other. And in every one of those novels, the main character's name is John. Different last names, but first name: John.
Would that strike you as (a) weird (b) lazy (c) off-putting (d) pretentious (e) all of the above (f) none of the above.
John is a good, strong name. I like it. If my daughter had been a girl, most likely her name would be John. Morever, whenever I come up with a different name for a main character, the character objects. For example:
X: My name is John, but if you really won't acknowledge that, I want to be called George.Me: But I thought we settled this. Your father the constitutional scholar named you James Madison Trevor and your brother Thomas Jefferson Trevor. I can't call you George. I just can't. Not in this day and age.
X: Don't like the name James. That's just not me. And anyway, what are you going to call me for short? Jim? I'll quit. Jamie? You can't do that, or the masses will start howling that you're copying la belle D.G. And while we're on the subject, Trevor doesn't work for me either. Unless it's preceded by John. John Trevor, good strong name for a good strong character.
Me: You're nothing like John Grant from my last novel. I'll get you confused.
X: If we're nothing alike, why would you confuse us? Your logic is sliding.
Me: Maybe I won't confuse you, but the readers might.
X: Tell the story right, and they won't care.
So I'm here to ask: would you care?