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question, hypothetical, french, and off the cuff
Question One: Why is it novelists don't have conventions? Podiatrists do, and telemarketers, and real estate agents. We don't.
I don't want to hear about RWA, okay? I don't belong and anyway, that particular convention wouldn't meet my requirements. What I want is a convention that:
1. includes authors across genres (including the literary genre) -- but only authors. No agents, editors, publishers, critics -- unless they have published some kind of fiction.
2. is three days long
3. meets in interesting places, like New Orleans and New York and Vancouver and Hawaii. Eventually it would go international: Vienna, Edinburgh, Tokyo, Stockholm.
4. has interesting panels on stuff like marketing and advertising and business matters as well as negotiating with agents and editors -- but also matters of craft and research
5. doesn't have keynotes. Keynotes are always counterproductive. has no one-person gigs. everything is in panels of two to six presenters.
6. doesn't have a class system. Stephen King came come if he wants, but he's not going to automatically get to sit in the front row. Same is true of John Updike.
7. doesn't give out awards of any type. No contests, no fashion shows. Nobody comes onto the stage in a convertible. Nobody gets a crown.
8. encourages constructive criticism.
9. provides meeting space for those genres that want them. The Erotica people can meet and the Historical people and anybody can go to any genre meeting that interests them.
10. The main attraction is just having a chance to interact with other authors and talk about the challenges.
So why doesn't this kind of thing exist? Nobody wants the trouble of organizing it? We're too tribal and exclusionary by nature? We'd kill each other? We'd figure out how to organize into a force that publishers would have to take seriously?
Maybe we don't do it because we're worried about facing each other, but I think it would be a good thing. Once a year. Three days. I know there would be major questions to work out, but I think it would be worth it.
Question Two: Those of you who speak French -- and I mean, really speak it, the kind of French that people use with each other when they're arguing or falling in love or half drunk. Colloquial French. I don't need book French, okay?
If you have a command of that kind of French, tell me, how would you say something like this:
What's the matter with him?
He got stuck in the belly.
This refers to a bayonet wound, but I don't want that word. I want rough, street, not-polite French. Anybody?
Question Three: I forget. Nevermind, I'll post it when I remember.
November 30, 2005 01:22 PM
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Comments
I'll... take a stab at it. (Sorry, couldn't resist!)
My sense is that you mean one soldier talking to another about a third, so I imagine they'd not be using overly florid speech. Anyways, I hope my suggestion helps some...
C'est quoi son probleme? (What's his problem?)
Pris un dans l'estomac. (Took one in the gut.)
Posted by: tzigane at November 30, 2005 05:01 PM
My gut says (sorry) "C'est quoi mal 'vec lui?"
And then for reply, "He's had a bellyful." Which translates (according to my Harrap's Shorter dictionary) to something like "Y'a ras le bol." But I can't be sure of that. Humour in another language is dangerous, I admit.
Non-humourous then..."Knifed in the belly." would be something like "Un coup de couteau dans le ventre."
"Bellyache" translates directly to "Mal de ventre."
Doubtless you are fully aware of the highly regional nature of the French language. My instincts are Canadian prairie french immersion - and not likely to be the same as one from the east coast, an acadian for example. There might be some really good colourful french euphemism for being knifed that would be purely used by sailors from Acadia. Interesting question.
Posted by: Pam at November 30, 2005 07:30 PM
I dunno - for "What's the matter with him," I might go with "Qu'est-ce qui va pas chez lui" or something like that. And the answer... um.. (why am I trying this when I'm so tired?) I guess I'd go with a coup de something or other. Trying to think of what sounds natural - maybe a curt "Surine (accent on that last e) [au ventre]." Or something.
Guh. Ask a Frenchman. I suck.
Posted by: Beth at November 30, 2005 08:27 PM
I want to go to that conference! Can we have it in Sydney Australia? It's pretty and there are beaches!
Posted by: Keziah Hill at December 1, 2005 01:12 AM
I swear I posted a comment here before, but I think it got lost somewhere in the internet ethos...
Anyway, here's my two cents (as a Franco-American currently living in France):
"C'est quoi son problème?" What's wrong with him?
"Il s'est pris un coup de couteau dans le ventre." He got knifed in the guts.
Hope this helps!
Posted by: Elisabeth at December 1, 2005 08:56 AM
merci, one and all.
Posted by: Sara Donati at December 1, 2005 09:06 AM