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said: the undead
Here's an interesting and rather disturbing post from LiveJournal, with GMTH reporting about her kid's homework assignment to write a short scene that would fit into a book they're reading (GMTH points out with glee that this is fan fiction the kids are writing). One of the instructions given by the teacher: said is dead. To help the kids beat poor old dead 'said' deeper into its grave, the teacher provided a list of about one hundred alternates, including things like brayed and warbled and vocalized. In the discussion on LiveJournal somebody else provides a link to this site that gives advice on writing Harry Potter fanfiction, where the same said is dead pronouncement comes up, with the same list. I found the original link to the LiveJournal discusson at Neil Gaiman's journal.
I am a great supporter of fan fiction, of storytelling in all its forms, and I also do really believe that anyone can learn to write a story, and write it well. Talent helps, but it's not strictly necessary. The things you do need: to be persistent, to be dedicated, to understand the process, and to read a lot. It also helps if people in positions of authority, especially teachers, don't give you bad advice before you're old enough to recognize it for the garbage it is. Can kids survive this kind of bad teaching? Sure. The point is, they shouldn't have to. The mystery is: where does this utter nonsense come from? How does it survive? I am reminded of my father, who grew up in rural Italy in the 1910s-20s. He firmly believed, no matter what kind of evidence presented to the contrary, that maggots were generated from dead meat. Flies? Nothing to do with it. He was taught this as a kid, and he never could quite let it go.
I can promise this: If my daughter ever came home with a list like this one with said is dead at the top, I would head straight for the school to have a serious discussion with the teacher.
Red Dirt Girl from the album "Red Dirt Girl" by Emmylou Harris
March 16, 2005 04:18 PM
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Comments
Interesting, I was just reading an old post in someone else's journal today about how some elementary school teachers put incorrect ideas into people's heads, and it takes years of retraining to get them out. That post happened to deal with the "Never Start A Sentence With 'Because'" rule, which I simply decided to begin flagrantly violating about the time I hit ninth grade.
I always hated the "anything but 'said'" projects as well -- stories written that way scream "fourth grade". At the tops of their lungs. An interesting (but brief) treatment of this phenomenon occurs in one of my favorite books, Up the Down Staircase.
Posted by: Rachel at March 16, 2005 08:43 PM
A short story I often teach (when I'm teaching) is Joyce Carol Oates's "Mitigating Circumstances" which starts like this:
--------
Because it was a mercy. Because God even in His cruelty will sometimes grant mercy.
Because Venus was in the sign of Sagittarius.
Because you laughed at me, my faith in the stars. My hope.
Because he cried, you do not know how he cried.
--------
It goes on like that for five pages, one of the most powerful and disturbing short stories I know. I don't know if she set out to thumb her nose at the old grade-school English composition rules, but that's one of the side effects.
Oh and:
I read Up the Down Staircase what, maybe thirty years ago. So I should read it again.
Posted by: sara at March 16, 2005 09:28 PM
The "Said is Dead" comment seems a bit extreme. I did wonder though when reading the initial post on Live Journal whether or not the teacher's intention was merely to get kids thinking about different ways of expressing the same thing ... ie. to create atmosphere etc. Afterall, the instructions were not to use it more than twice so I guess you could use it some of the time. Maybe it was just an exercise in divergent thinking. But still, to actually say "said is dead" is a bit much.
Posted by: Jacqui at March 17, 2005 12:18 AM
And either it's epidemic, or all these kids are in the same class, because I just read about the same thing elsewhere.
Posted by: Stephanie at March 17, 2005 02:36 PM
The "said is dead" device (along with the ban on the words "very," "nice" and "like")is an attempt to get students (usually 5th- 8th graders, reluctant writers all)to vary their writing. Now more than ever writing is effortful for kids. Generally, kids DO NOT READ. (Even Harry Potter is on film now, so why bother?) Busy families do not converse with them, don't read bedtime stories and parents model TV watching rather than reading,so vocaularies are limited and language skills are lacking. (Of course kids can quote Toy Story etc. verbatim since they watch DVDs even in the SUV..when they're not playing video games.) But the device is just that, a device.
Posted by: Lisa at March 17, 2005 02:53 PM
I'm a journalist and I'm amusing myself right now by imagining writing things like "'Economic development is essential to our city's welfare,' growled the mayor." President Bush proclaimed. The Pope yelped.
Used in moderation, these 'said substitutes' are fine, but I think more than that would be distracting.
And Sara - you have great taste in music! I love Red Dirt Girl...
Posted by: sarandipity at March 18, 2005 09:07 AM