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on conflicting urges
However. People who write novels for a living are dependent on the outside world. On agents, editors, publishers, marketing people, and most of all, readers. Further, given the situation in publishing, it's rare that an author can sit back and be confident that somebody else is going to make sure the novel gets into the public eye. Publishers don't spend a lot of money on marketing; the internet is full of stories from wailing authors on good books that sank beneath the waves without a peep because of low or no budget marketing plans.
Thus the conundrum. I am uncomfortable in public. I suffer huge anxiety when I have to read publically (though strangely enough, when I was a professor I could lecture to 300 students without a pang). I really don't like book tours. In spite of all these things, I still hold some part of the responsibility for making my work visible -- like it or not.
You might be wondering why I want to be invisible, but that's a very complex question, and one I'm not going to try to answer just now. What I can say is, this basic conflict between what is comfortable for me and my responsibilities towards my own work is something that has been addressed, at least in part, by this weblog.
When I started out, I had no idea if the weblog would make any difference in bringing readers to the books, or not. But I do get a lot of mail from readers and a a lot of questions, and so I thought there was some room for me to reach out, in this limited way. If a few more people became aware of the books, great. If not, it was (and remains) an interesting experience. I had no illusions that somehow writing a few paragraphs a day would cause the novels to shoot up the best seller list, and I am just as happy to have people who like the blog but have no interest in the novels come by. When I am out in public and I have to answer questions about my books, I always make sure to let people know that I will not be in the least upset if they never read any of my work. And I really, truly mean that.
Which is part of the problem. I am happy when somebody writes to say they read the books and have enjoyed them, but I don't worry much about sales, except in a fairly concrete way. Such as: hey, there's something else I can do for a living when the books stop selling or I stop writing. Clearly, I am not a born salesperson.
So your answers about how you got here are enlightening and interesting, in an academic sort of way. I'm really not looking for unconditional praise or global assurances. I may never write a book that gets to the best seller list, and while I can't say that's fine -- of course I'd like that, who wouldn't? I can say that I'm easy if it doesn't happen.
I'll get back to the unanswered questions from last week next time.
December 11, 2004 02:18 PM
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Comments
I think your use of the blog to connect with readers in a nonthreatening way works well. As a reader, it also works for similar reasons. Not all readers WANT to see favourite authors in person either. That can be too intimidating, too uncomfortable, too nerve wrecking so having this space to do it in is also nice from a reader's point of view. I wonder whether you found it easier to lecture because you were talking about something more academic, not part of your soul ... which writing is and you feel so much more vulnerable when reading your narrative writing. I think I would (I can barely let my husband read a draft of a fanfic.... sometimes I have to leave the room while he does that).
Also, I thought I would just touch on your comments in this entry and others about the importance of story telling in our society. From a different perspective, the ability to tell a narrative is also an important indicator of your ability to navigate your way around language. One of the ways that I may assess kids with speech/language difficulties is to look at their narrative skills.... what kinds of words do they use, do they use descriptors, modals, do they elaborate on themes, can they generate ideas etc etc. We use these skills to tell our own stories throughout life ... narrating the days events, opening ourselves up to others, sharing, arguing, persuading ... so I think all of us to some degree are storiopaths... and having difficulty with narrative skills can be an limit our ability to do all those things.
Posted by: Jacqui at December 11, 2004 08:31 PM
I won your book Lake in the Clouds in a contest and discovered it was the third in the series so I got the other two and started from the beginning.
I have just finished The Fire along the Sky and have loved every one of the books. Your website is on the back page so i wanted to see when the Queen of Awords is available as I cannot wait for it to come out and will it be the last book in the series?
Elizabeth
Posted by: Elizabeth rainbird at December 12, 2004 07:01 PM
Hello! I've been reading your site for most of this year. I have not read any of your books, nor had I heard of them. I have not read one yet, but since finding your site and enjoying your writing about writing and your creative process (Your lessons are great!), I've become interested in reading at least one of your books. I don't remember how I found your site, but probably from a link on another site, I think.
Posted by: Debra Young at December 13, 2004 12:09 PM
Sara, i can relate to you on wanting to be invisible... being a visual artist i LOVe to stand back and blend in with the wall and watch people re~act to my ArT. I LOVe observing people.
My children both went to magnet ArTs schools and both were involved in PeRFORMiNG Theatre, there i learned to stand up in front of people and speak without my HeART pounding out of my chest, plus the fact that i am now in my early 50's....my motto is now, WHAT iS THE WORST THiNG THaT COULD HaPPEN to YOU? The answer is YOU COULD DiE... *WG* So, with that thought in mind and the realization that most people are just as nervous as i am... i forge on... plus praticing what to say at home helps too.
Your work, i believe will build. I do not understand the book publishing business myself, as i am shocked at some of the work out there that becomes a best~seller. But, then we are all different, and that makes for an vera interesting world.
I hope that you will be able to continue writing the Bonner's stories. They have been a big part of my LiFe in the reading and re~reading of your work. Quiet frankly, i would be interested to read any of your work, when published or unpublished.
Posted by: joanna at December 19, 2004 01:07 PM
OH, i forgot to tell you, at this ArTs Magnet schooL, you could tell all the students ArTs area by the way they dressed and acted... the WRiTeRs were MOSTLy iNTROVeRTeD WaLL~FLoWeRs... GReAT KiDz ALL. We have had a couple of them become published playwrites.
Posted by: joanna at December 19, 2004 01:12 PM