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December 01, 2004

jumping, and readers

This post has been edited for clarity.

Jacqui asked two questions. I'm answering the second question first.

I think you might be going to a "little" get together in California. So ... my question is, how was it? (as I'm assuming you'll read this when you get back).
THIS is how it was. Click on the photo to get a larger version.

Observe the guy reading Fire Along the Sky. (And look! He jumped to the last page first!)

While you can't see me, I was sitting right next to him. He was there oh, about five minutes or so until he went off to be cheerful elsewhere. So Jacqui, I had a great weekend in California, and five minutes of that weekend were especially memorable.

Next question:

Actually this one is just a repeat of a question I had on the discussion board (getting from A to B). How do you move your action along without it reading either forced, vague, stilted or full of unnecessary detail? you have just had your characters do A and you want them to do B, but what about the in between?

To start with, you have to remember the difference between story and plot.

Story is what happens; plot is the artful arrangement of what happened into a narrative whole.
A police report provides a list of observations and facts, but if you're going to spin a story out of that, you'll have to do some rearrangement. Decide what to tell first, what to keep back, which scenes need to be direct, which can be told otherwise.

Consider this: Anton is playing a game of catch with his daughter Gigi and thinking about leaving his wife Maud; when Gigi runs off to say hello to a neighbor he goes into the house and finds Maud sitting staring out a window, holding an egg in her hand. Why an egg, you ask. I'm not sure, but she insists.

So here are some of the things you've got to be thinking about to tell this story: You need the right details to make the scene come alive (the softball is unraveling at the seams, there's a canker sore at the corner of Anton's mouth that Maud can't bear to look at, the radio is tuned to NPR and keeps sliding off into static.) You need to physically move Anton and Maud through space. You need to track their thoughts. You need to record their conversation.

But you don't need everything: you need the right things. Here's the question: do you make us walk with Anton from the garden into the house, or do you stop one scene and then start again when he's in the kitchen? Do we need to stand by and listen as Anton tells his daughter where he's going, or when she needs to come in, or to put her bike away? When you make this transition, do you leave Anton's head and jump into Maud's?

This is the kind of thing that lesser-experienced writers have a huge amount of problem with. I read a lot of work by people who haven't developed an ear for what to leave out. This kind of writer forgets to make a distinction between what's important to the story, and what I think of as work product.

As the author, I visualize Anton doing a lot of stuff that I don't tell you about, because it would distract you from what's important. A character, going about his or her day, does a million things (opens doors, ties his or her shoes, goes to the bathroom, etc etc etc). So really, as you set out to put something down you have to ask yourself this this question:

Does it move the story along?
and if the answer is no, get rid of it. Another question to ask is: if I jump here (forward in time, to someplace else in the story, to another character's POV) can I take the reader with me without signposts?

Anton stopping in the kitchen to pet the cat doesn't move the story along; it's just distracting. Anton stopping off in the bathroom doesn't either, unless while he's in there he discovers an open bottle of pills or something else that moves the story along. We don't need to see him put his feet one in front of the other.

Of course, there are bits that contribute to the story in subtle ways that you may want to keep, but mostly the every day things do not belong on the page. This is a complex answer, but I hope it provides some kind of insight. Lemme know.

December 1, 2004 01:02 PM

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Comments

What a picture. My jaw is dropped. That is too cool.

Posted by: Pam at December 1, 2004 03:29 PM

ain't it, though?

Posted by: sara at December 1, 2004 04:35 PM

Wow. He is so hot. And the book! The book!

Posted by: Marjorie at December 1, 2004 07:48 PM

Thank you, Sara for those comments. I think they will be quite helpful ... another mantra for me to think of as I write. I did like what you said about not having to include everything and how as a writer you might imagine your character doing these things that don't necessarily move the story along. I also liked what you said about signposts (I can hear an echo of my honours supervisor there!). Now for the tricky bit of trying to implement your suggestions.

Am so glad that you had a nice time at Burbank. I am very envious. I only hope that OzScape 2005 is just as good (though sadly it will be without Ben and Claudia).

Posted by: Jacqui at December 2, 2004 03:49 AM

OK, I confess to being completely clueless. Who is the man (Mel Gibson maybe?) and why is he reading Sara's book? Other than the fact that it's a fantastic piece of literature, obviously.

Posted by: Rachel at December 2, 2004 04:07 PM

never mind; I figured it out.

This post brought to you by the words "Burbank" and "OzScape", and by the good folks at Google.

Posted by: Rachel again at December 2, 2004 04:12 PM

Sara,

Now I get it !! I thought when I first looked at the pic that his beautiful face was fimiliar!! I saw the convention mentioned on the FS website. How great that you are one of those that actually gets up and goes to those kind of things. Tell us more. How did you arrange the photo? Does he know how you've helped his career?
You said you may have to shut down the discussion board but PLEASE keep this site. It's part of my morning routine!!

Did you talk to anyone else?

Cynthia in Florida
So thankful hurricane season is over!

Posted by: Cynthia at December 3, 2004 07:48 AM

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